Yesterday during the dentist I realized how comforting it is to swallow. It would explain why people like to comfort-eat - I always assumed it was just to fill that empty pit in your stomach that develops. Perhaps that's why drinking a gallon of water everyday is easy for me?
I was so bored in class today! I just wanted to ditch class to smoke, drink and fuck.
I'm much more confident in the past month or two. I've told myself to stop being insecure, and accept myself. I am okay, I am okay.
Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Go for it! Everything will be okay! Go for it! Everything will be okay!
I almost had an orgasm yesterday during sex, which is the first time in my life that's happened. Sure, I've had orgasms through masturbation, but this was so much better! It came as a complete surprise too. Me and S were doing it a second time (which we rarely ever do) and I was doing my usual "pretend you're a pornstar and people are watching bit" and all of a sudden the pleasure hit me, and it was toe-numbing. I was only like, 3% stoned at the time too. And then S and I had "a moment" and I felt connected to him on another level. Then I said something to ruin the moment, because you know, intimacy issues. It was really good though, and I may have had many mini orgasms too.
After that I was easily turned on, and wanted to do it many times, but then we were watching Family Guy and ended up falling asleep.